holiday shopping

Every year, the holiday season creates a hatred in me that far surpasses any other feeling in my body. Although it only lasts for a few weeks, it makes one select seasonal action extremely difficult--shopping.

That's right folks. I hate the mall. Just last night I had to run up to Beachwood Mall in order to find a dress for a company holiday party I will be attending this weekend. My plan was simple: Look for a dress, try it on, then buy it. I can assure you that I am that low maintenance. But of course, my journey was prolonged due to the ridiculous amount of patrons who decided it would be in their best interest to go holiday shopping on the day of rest.

I was severely agitated. I've found that not only do people walk 30 times slower in the mall, but people who work at stores in the mall try to entice you to shop in their store by attacking you like a vulture. It's completely unnecessary for the same greeter in Bebe (I can assure you I bought nothing in there) to approach me every two minutes to see if I need a dressing room or someone to find my size.

Another thing that probably increases my lack of patience (that seems like an oxymoron) is the temperature in the mall. Has anyone ever noticed that it's about 90 degrees in every store? Now, I don't know if the mall decides to turn up the thermostat because of the geriatrics coming to shop during the season, but that really needs to stop. Yes, the weather outside sucks but you don't need to cook your patrons like Christmas hams.
And lastly the thing that contributes to my brewing holiday hatred are the little vendors that sit at the kiosks all around the mall. They're the ones that approach you  and try to  rub Arabian sea salts on your hands. And even when you say, "Hey, no thanks" they continue to attack you until you try the product, which normally ends up burning a layer of your epidermis off.

I'm sure by this point, my ranting has disgusted you enough to probably turn you off from shopping. I apologize.